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"I've been on both ends of withdrawals, Heroin and Methadone, every
patient of methadone will always tell you the same, as I do; I can kick heroin
anytime, but methadone that is something else. In 15 yrs of heroin Addiction,
I've kicked 3 times, 'cold-turkey'. In 10 years on methadone I've never kicked
methadone.
"Once I landed in jail, I had to do 72 hours of jail time before I got to
see the judge. I was literally on the floor screaming my guts out. About 12
hours before I was to see the judge, I demanded to be taken to the hospital, I
just couldn't take it. I was cuffed, and looking like a 'chair' was glued to my
back, I limped to the ambulance, since I couldn't lift my leg to climb into the
back, the police grabbed me on both sides and shoved me in like a sack of
potatoes, I fell flat on my face. The doctor, realizing my condition and that
it was severe, gave me a shot of methadone. The relief was immediate.
"I was returned to the precinct and 2 days later I was in the same
condition! Never did I go through such hell in all my days.
"The intensity of methadone Withdrawal is just too much! I could never do
it. By the way, about 5 years ago one inmate went into convulsions and upon
falling, he hit the metal bars and died."
-----------------
" On Sunday morning, March 30, I took my last dose of methadone. I have
been on 80 mgs of methadone for the past 6 months.
"My doctor, an anesthesiologist, writes prescriptions for 125 tablets. This
lasts 15 days. I signed a contract with him that basically says I will use the
same pharmacy, I will not get meds from other physicians, and if I run out
before the 15 days is up I just have to go without. I didn't mind signing the
contract at all, and I have abided by all the stipulations. I called him for a
refill on Friday. No response. I called again on Saturday. No response. I
called his home on Sunday. No response. On Sunday I took my last dose. I hate
anything having this much control over me. I find it very demeaning to be so
dependent on a bottle of pills.
"On Monday I called his office. They informed me that he was on vacation
this week. Panic descended . . . and so did withdrawal symptoms. At first I
just got kinda nervous, jittery. My doctor has told me that methadone is not
addicting. That is contrary to everything and anything I've ever heard or read
about the Drug. I never questioned him why he thought methadone wasn't
addicting. I was hoping I'd never have to find out. What my body went through
for the next 48 hours was one severe blow after another. I kept trying to tell
myself I just had the flu. Just crawl in bed for 3 days and sweat it out. Of
course I knew this wasn't true but I was going to play whatever mind game it
took to get me through this. After the jitters, the muscle contractures
started. It felt like the muscles in my legs and then in my arms were like
rubber bands, being stretched and pulled to their max and then constricting to
a shape that wasn't natural. Then came the sweats, diarrhea, Hallucinations.
"I remember trying to dial the phone. It was a number I've called a
thousand times before, only now I couldn't remember it. For that matter, I
couldn't even hold the phone . . . I kept dropping it. My muscles were out of
control. The pain that led me to methadone returned with a vengeance. In a
strange way it was like an old friend. I knew it well and understood it
completely. The combination of withdrawal and pain was too much. The all too
familiar thoughts of suicide were returning.
"It was now Tuesday morning. I called the pharmacist and explained the
situation. By 1:10 PM I had 8 methadone tablets. I took the entire dose at once
- all 8 tablets. Within 2 hours my muscles had stopped screaming, my head was
beginning to clear, and the pain was lessening.
"It's now Thursday morning. I'm still not back to myself . . . but much
better. The assault on my body was indeed very traumatic . . . I lost 7 pounds
and am still very shaky. Addiction is indeed a dangerous thing and should be
avoided. I must admit when I was in the throes of withdrawal there's not much I
wouldn't have done to relieve the symptoms. "
| Definitions of Terms Used |
| Addiction | Strong physiological, emotional and/or psychological dependence on a substance such as alcohol or drugs that has progressed beyond voluntary control. For more on addiction see the section Addiction Information in this website.
| | Drug | Any substance, other than food, that changes the function or structure of the body or mind when ingested. Drugs essentially are poisons. The degree they are taken determines the effect. A small amount acts as a stimulant. A greater amount acts as a sedative. A larger amount acts as a poison and can kill one dead. This is true of any drug. Each has a different amount at which it gives those results.
| | Hallucinations | Perceptions of something (such as a visual image or a sound) that does not really exist. Hallucinations usually arise from a disorder of the nervous system or in response to drugs (such as LSD).
| | Heroin | The potent, widely abused opiate that produces a profound addiction. It consists of two morphine molecules linked together chemically.
| | Methadone | A long-lasting synthetic opiate used to treat cancer pain and heroin addiction.
| | Withdrawal | Symptoms that occur after chronic use of a drug is reduced or stopped.
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| | ©2005 remository.com |
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